Hate following the crowd? Try JAYwalking!!!

Things that should NOT be said to a Military Spouse...

2009-07-30T12:56:00.002+09:00

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq."(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf?

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."(We do learn coping skills. We figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 6-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, and he flew comfortably on a commercial plane. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy Hyundai Excel with a Mercedes convertible.)

9. "Wow you must miss him?"(This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. I'm a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. "Well in my opinion….."(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

Last, but not least….

14. "OH, that's horrible…I'm so sorry!"(He's doing his job and he's a bad ass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our MARINES/soldiers/airmen/coasties/sailors fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom

Island Hopping

2009-07-13T00:04:00.014+09:00

Saturday Ed and I wanted to explore some of the little islands surrounding us. It was very hot but sooo much fun. Just wanted to share some pics. Love to all!!!!!

45 Lessons Life Teaches Us...

2009-06-11T08:17:00.002+09:00

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25 No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27 Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

My son is a Genius!!!!!

2009-05-22T08:45:00.009+09:00

Ok.... I know every parent thinks that about their child, but I think Elijah really is a genius. He is not even three and he knows:

Letters(upper, lower and sounds)

Numbers( 1-100)

Shapes( including pentagon, octagon and hexagon)

Beginning Reading

and here is his latest:

and

I am truly amazed with everthing he is able to do. God has blessed me tremendously and I can't wait to see what He has in store for our future. Love to ALL!!!!!!

Happy Easter!!!!!!

2009-04-12T18:33:00.003+09:00

Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!

Our triumphant holy day, Alleluia!

Who did once upon the cross, Alleluia!

Suffer to redeem our loss. Alleluia!

Hymns of praise then let us sing, Alleluia!

Unto Christ, our heavenly king, Alleluia!

Who endured the cross and grave, Alleluia!

Sinners to redeem and save. Alleluia!

But the pains which he endured, Alleluia!

Our salvation have procured; Alleluia!

Now above the sky he’s king, Alleluia!

Where the angels ever sing. Alleluia!

Sing we to our God above, Alleluia!

Praise eternal as his love; Alleluia!

Praise him, all you heavenly host, Alleluia!

Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Alleluia!

Happy Easter To All!!!!!!!

Stupid Cuteness!!!!!! :P

2009-04-07T13:25:00.003+09:00

Hello to All!!!! Long time, NO write. I know... sorry. Anywho, I have been having massive problems with the internet, and it wouldn't let me do anything to my blog. I just realized that the problems started when I decided to make my blog look cute. So it turned out that the CUTENESS made my blog disfunctional. I now will have chronic UGLY blog, but a least I will be able to post. Hope everyone is well!!!!! I WILL write again soon!!!!!!!!

Ps: Here is some SONshine to brighten your day!!!!!

A not-really wordless Saturday

2009-02-21T21:00:00.006+09:00

Here are Ed and I around the same age as Elijah.

Wordless Saturday

2009-02-14T14:36:00.003+09:00

The Sunday Comics

2009-02-08T11:09:00.003+09:00

So every Sunday I am going to share one of the funny "Elijah" moments from the week. Here is Our first one:

Elijah -sitting on the potty: " Mommy there is somfing in there."

me -bewildered : " Oh yeah... Where?"

Elijah- matter of factly: " There"

me- confused: " Where Bubba? In the potty? I don't know what you are talking about."

Elijah- frustrated: " There!!!! In my BOTTOM!!!!"

me- amused: " OK... do you need help with something?"

Elijah- laughing: " No Mommy!!! You're silly!!!! There is POOP up there... you can't help me. SILLY MOMMY!!!!!"

I refuse to do wordless Wednesday, so here is my first wordless SATURDAY!!!!!!

2009-02-07T16:33:00.002+09:00

WANTED:

2009-02-05T21:36:00.001+09:00

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mum, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
For the rest of your life you must:
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

** THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

Friends!!!

2009-02-05T19:09:00.002+09:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

Potty-Training... need I say more : (

2009-01-20T20:26:00.001+09:00

Ok... so I know that the title is a little dramatic, but those of you who have children know EXACTLY what I mean. I decided while Ed was gone that I was going to have Elijah completely potty trained before he gets back. So on January 12th our journey began. Much to my surprise, it was a PLEASANT start. We spent two full days at home completely devoted to training(with NO accidents). Then I got cabin fever and decided to brave a quick trip to the store. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! I will leave out all the colorful ajectives that went through my mind and just say that he pooped his pants... twice... in a 20 minute timeframe. I cleaned him up and calmly reminded him that we use the Big Boy potty and we do NOT go potty in our pants. So I got a "yes ma'am" and an "ok...sure mommy" and we went home.

So I will spare the details of the next 2 accident free days and jump ahead to Saturday. All week I had been telling Elijah " If you use the big boy potty all week, we will ride the ferris wheel on Saturday", and he has been really excited. Then came the dreaded automatic flush incident. He had just sat down and was getting ready to pee(so he could ride the ferris wheel), when the flusher went off prematurely. He jumped and he cried and he threw a competely hysterical fit...that time as well as everytime I put him on the toilet for the next two days. FUN!!! We are now kind of getting back to normal.

So in reading this I hope you take away two things:

1. When you potty train...STAY HOME!!!!!

2. Bring a post-it to cover the automatic flush or all hell will break loose.

Please Pray that the rest of our training is uneventful and trauma free. : )

Deep in Thought... and Lonely

2009-01-10T20:34:00.002+09:00

So much for blogging everyday, huh? Some people are really good at it. I am NOT one of those people. I hope that everyone is having an enjoyable beginning to 2009. I still cannot believe it is 2009 already. It feels like I just had Elijah yesterday, but he is almost 2 1/2. It is both really exciting and semi-depressing. I know,I know... he is NOT getting any SMALLER. I will have to learn to deal with it. I also can't believe Ed and I are going on 8 years of wedded bliss. Time is certainly flying and I wish I could slow it down a little bit. I know alot of people have New Year resolutions,I usually don't but I think I might make one this year. I usually get so caught up in life that I don't take the time to REALLY appreciate my family and friends. So my resolution this year is slow down and really enjoy my time with my husband and son(tantrums and all), and spend more time with them and my friends. For anyone not close by, I am going to really make an effort to keep in touch. You all matter to me and I want you to know it. I hope you have a great year and I hope to hear from you as well. Love to All!!!!!

My Men and SOME friends:

Happy New Year!!!!!!

2009-01-01T09:14:00.001+09:00

Hello To All!!!!!!!! Yes it is us, the Jay family, and our new blog. We decided to set this up to keep family and friends as involved in our lives as possible. As well as expose you to the beauty of Okinawa and the growth of our family while living here. We hope that you all have a great 2009 and we can't wait to hear from you!!!!!!!!